Do you want to improve your relationships at home and at work?
The following principles will definitely help. Be real. Besides his extraordinary customer focus, Fred the Postman was so inspiring because of his uniqueness. He was who he was.
I never got the sense Fred was trying to impress me by being anybody but himself. Try this alternative: Always do your best at being yourself. Sure, you should aim to improve, try new things, and add value. But let these actions come out of who you really are, what you truly believe in, and the things you are committed to. The prerequisite for relationship building is trust.
At its most basic level, trust is built on believing that someone is who he represents himself to be. Be interested not just interesting. It may be true that interesting people attract attention, but I believe interested people attract appreciation. When I first met Fred, he quickly introduced himself, but the focus was on how he could best help me meet my needs. If Fred had spent time telling me what a great mailman he was, the outcome would have been different.
People are flattered when you express an interest in getting to know them better, not out of morbid curiosity, but in an effort to help or serve them more effectively.
Appreciating the people we serve, I believe, increases the value of our service to them. Be a better listener. When you take an interest in and listen to people, they provide important practical information you can use to create value. For instance, listen carefully to your boss, and you might learn that he or she hates to read long memos. You now know that you can improve your working relationship by providing a brief summary. Or at lunch ask a client about her family.
You may learn that her fourteen-year-old son has a hobby that one of your children enjoys. Offering to exchange information about that shared interest will add both value and depth to this relationship.
go to link People are flattered when you make an effort to get to know them and seek information on how to serve them better. Understanding and appreciating what they want increases the value of what you can provide for them. Be empathic. This is empathy. Everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
His counsel is the essence of practical empathy. Be honest. Avoid overrepresenting and overpromising. Be a man, woman, or organization of your word. Be helpful. Little things make a big difference.
Lots of small things cumulatively make a huge difference. Years ago my friend Ken taught me a neat way to be of service to strangers. If I see one person in a group taking a picture of all the others, I offer to snap the picture so everybody can be included. Even holding a door open is an indication of Fred-like behavior. So remember your manners, and people will remember you.
The It Factor: Be the One People Like, Listen to, and Remember [Mark Wiskup] on deocomdudistio.cf *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Filled with shrewd insights. The It Factor: Be the One People Like, Listen to, and Remember [Paperback] on deocomdudistio.cf *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.
Be prompt. Time is the one thing many people have far less of than money. Helping them save time by being prompt and efficient is a gift of great value. Transactional interactions focus primarily on results, sometimes even at the cost of relationships. Relational interactions recognize the importance of how people are treated in the process of achieving results. Fred the postman was living proof that how you deliver the mail affects how people feel about the outcome.
I just don't care anymore; take anything you want from me. Plan your days ahead of time. Valentine Belonwu is from Nigeria and is the Founder of Business Gross , a site designed to help individuals understand that the economic and political climate is crucial when mapping out a quality financial strategy in their lives. To be an effective leader, keep these guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:. Making that plan work.
Not every interaction needs to be relational. For example, in an emergency or crisis, getting people to safely evacuate a burning building may require harsh, direct instructions. Jimmy Buffett once said and I paraphrase : It takes just about the same amount of time to be a nice guy as it does to be a jerk.
More often than not, you and I can be more Fred-like by taking time to focus on the relational aspect of our interactions. For more information and resources, go to www. He was recently honored with the Cavett Award, the highest honor the NSA bestows on its members, in recognition of his outstanding contributions to the speaking profession. Great article, Mark! Thanks so much for sharing them. Excellent and valuable list Mark. Thank you for this great character check. Relationships are often poorly understood and frequently mismanaged and that is the bane of modern-day living. This especially is so true:.
Proactivity without actually intruding does go a long way in establishing that memorability in all our relationships. What you are in his sight is what you are and nothing more. Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received — fading symbols of honor, trappings of power — but only what you have given: a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage. Service is a way out of the gloom so many of us experience at work and in life. Return to Book Page. Some people have the ability to start a conversation and immediately draw people in, while others -- perhaps even those with more valuable things to say -- get pushed to the side, seemingly ignored.
Unfortunately for those who don't have "It," this undeniable "It" factor is more than just an attractive quality, it's also a hallmark of success. A practical and entertaining g Some people have the ability to start a conversation and immediately draw people in, while others -- perhaps even those with more valuable things to say -- get pushed to the side, seemingly ignored.
A practical and entertaining guide that will help anyone supercharge their communication skills and consistently make a positive impression on others, The "It" Factor gives readers the tools -- and confidence -- they need to take charge of any conversation, meeting, or networking encounter.
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